A much needed word....

Today started out as any other ordinary day. I got up and brought Olivia to school. It was her last day and she was having an 'end of the year' program at 11. After the program, which was so cute, me and Paul took her to go eat lunch with some of her friends. She kept asking me, "Mommy, do you have something special for me?" I hadn't bought her anything because her birthday was Saturday and she just a bunch of presents. But I know how much she likes to have her fingernails and toenails polished so I took her with me to get my nails done. She picked out blue, of all colors!

We left the salon and we sat in the parking lot for a while. I was waiting for Olivia to buckle her seat belt and I was fooling with my nails. I was getting ready to leave when I saw a lady coming towards my car. I recognized her and rolled down my window. We talked for a while about the boutique she had just opened and I thought the conversation was being wrapped up. Then she asked me, "How's your family doing since your cousin's death?" I was about to ask her how she knew about it but she said she had run into my mom and dad at Sam's.

I went on to tell her how hard it has been for me because, in my opinion, I was the closest to him out of my family (not counting his mom, dad and brother, of course). I told her about how I had starting blogging and how it was somewhat therapeutic for me. I didn't really go into much detail though.

She said to me (and I'm paraphrasing), "You can't have regrets, you know. Regrets will only hold you back and keep you from healing. Regret is different from grief. You have to let go of regrets."

That was a direct word from God! God kept me sitting in that parking lot for a reason. I so needed to hear that. I have had many regrets but one in particular. From the minute I heard Aaron was gone all I could think was why did I go back to work after Meme's funeral? Why didn't I go back to Honey's house? I could have spent the whole day with Aaron. That's what I can't get over. God knew I needed to hear those words and He used Diane to get His message across.

Dear Heavenly Father, please help me to let go of regrets. I can not change the past. I don't want my regrets to hold me back from healing.

In Ecclesiastes it says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

I know that right now is a time for weeping and soon there will be a time for laughing and a time for healing. Help me to trust in You to get me through this season, Lord. For my sorrow may last through the night, Your joy comes in the morning. Thank You for sending a laborer across my path today.

As a wise boy once said, "Live life to the fullest. Live like there's no tomorrow." You can't do that with regrets. Thanks Adam and Aaron.

That's all for now. Love to all <3