One Proud Mama

Today was one of those crazy days. you know those days when you don't think one more thing could be added to the calendar but somehow things keep coming up. Well that was today. Paul left to go out of town yesterday leaving it all up to me so I was prepared for a nutty day. But I wasn't expecting to be up all night with Olivia coughing her head off due to post nasal drip! Cole only had a half day so I decided to let him stay home from school since Olivia was sick. I drove them both down to my mom in Myrtle Grove and started my day.
I had to cancel one thing this morning because of the hiccup with Livi being sick so that made it a bit easier. Every year for the past 3 or 4 years my salon participates in the Holy Cross College Health Fair. I went and set everything up and met Tara and Kelsie, two of my stylists, who were going to stay for the health fair. Then I left to go to Cole's school for a parent/teacher conference with Cole's teacher, Maestra Carmen.
For those of you who don't know, Cole goes to The International School of Louisiana, which is an immersion school. He is learning only Spanish. He will not have any formal English instruction until 2nd grade. Anyway, the moment I walked into the classroom I could tell that she was excited to tell me about my son. She started to tell me, in her very broken English, how smart Cole is and how surprised she is by how much Spanish he knows already. She said that when the rest of the class has a hard time understanding what she is saying, Cole jumps right in and interprets for her. She raved about how hungry he is for more knowledge and how he makes more work for her as a teacher because she feels like she has give him so much more because he wants to learn more and more Spanish.
What could make a parent more proud? I am so happy that Paul and I decided to take a chance and do something totally out of the box for Cole. I hope that next year when Olivia joins Cole at ISL, she will thrive there as well.
As for Holden, he is still working really hard this year at Holy Cross. It is much more challenging for him because he is in all accelerated classes this year. He is learning that he really has to push himself this year to be the straight A student he has always been. But I know that he will do fine this year.
Thank You God for blessing me with 3 very different children. They all have so much potential in so many areas. Please help them realize their own potential and remind them to lean on You and not on their own understanding and You will direct their paths. Amen.

Love to all,
Holly

The View From The Edge

This weekend I went to Dallas with my Mom and Dad. I wasn't thrilled about going, mostly because my husband wasn't going and I would be away from the kids for a whole weekend. But I went anyway because I knew it was important to my Dad. We went to The View. Most of you probably are thinking about The View, as in ABC's hit talk show with Barbara Walters. But thats not the view we went to. The View is a 3 day motivational seminar. The Director, Marc Acceta, uses characters to drive home different points, all done with humor, emotion and drama.
I was expecting to be entertained but what I experienced, I never saw coming. I've been in business for 13 years and have faced the same trials that most business owners have faced. I've trusted God and He has always been there for me. But every now and then we need someone, possibly someone from the outside, to shake us and wake us up.
Marc Acceta did that for me. My eyes were opened in a different way. I have a new outlook, not just on business but on life itself. So many of his characters spoke to me on different levels. And his wife Kelly gave an incredible testimony that ministered to me in a very personal way.
I am no longer going to let other people steal my dreams. I am in charge of my own future. God has given me dreams and visions and I will never let Satan lie to me again and tell me that those dreams and visions weren't from God! God has given me the power to create wealth and the passion to make it happen. He is my source and my provider and He wants me and my family to be BLESSED!!!
I will make a difference in this world. Today I make this statement and I mean it with my whole heart. I will give back. I will help others. I will run and not grow weary. I will not fall. I will make a difference.
I am so thankful for my husband Paul. Even though we don't see eye to eye sometimes, we can still work it out and our love is stronger because of it. My children point out my flaws and weaknesses as they see them and for that too, I am thankful. Sometimes we need to see ourselves the way our children see us. And lastly, I am so thankful to have parents who support me no matter what. They may not always see things from my point of view, but they still love me and want to see me succeed. My Dad especially. I have the best Dad in the world. He encourages me when I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. He is a dreamer also and I believe he passed that on to me and I am thankful for that.
I've seen the view from the edge and it has changed me. Thank You God for your faithfulness and for giving me dreams and the passion to make them a reality.

Love to all,
Holly

A blah Labor Day weekend

This is Labor Day weekend and it's been pretty rainy so there hasn't been much to do. Yesterday, me and Paul stayed in our jammies all day and watched movies in bed. The kids climbed in bed with us to watch Journey to the Center of The Earth.

This morning we went to church and so far, it's still yucky outside. Maybe we'll take the kids downtown later if it clears up. I'll keep you posted!

Love to all,
Holly

My Baby Girl is BACK!

For those of you who don't know, Olivia went on a trip with a family friend to Indiana these last 2 weeks. Well, she is back! She had the time of her life! These are just a few of the things she did while she was gone:

1. went to the zoo

2. went to a real working farm and saw 2 baby cows being born

3. went to The American Girl Place (got an American Girl doll named Krissa and had lunch at the American Girl Cafe) which is a really big deal!

4. had a princess tea party

5. had several sleep overs with her new friends, Savannah and MaryBeth

6. ate at the Rainforest Cafe

7. rode bumber boats and go-karts and played putt putt

8. went to an amish market, rode a horse and buggy and got an amish babydoll

9. went to visit her cousins, Lexie and Hunter

10. rode on an airplane there and back

I'd say she is one blessed little girl! I flew to Chicago yesterday to get her and we flew home together today. It is so great to have her home. Her brothers missed her so much. I wish I could say that we had a peaceful evening all night, but...............it was short lived. Olivia wasn't home one hour before the sibling rivalry began. Anyway, I'm just glad all my children are home under one roof. The only thing missing now is my hubby! Paul is in Charlotte, NC but will be on a 6am flight home tomorrow morning. So then our family will all be together again.

Thank You, Lord, for watching over Livi while she was away from us. Thank You for giving us such a wonderful neighbor, Ms. Pam and Mr. Bernie. They took such great care of Olivia while she was with them. Lord, give Olivia peace about starting school next week. She is sad that her best friends are at a new school this year. Comfort her as she goes into a new class and give her the courage to make new friends. I know that Olivia has awesome potential and I trust in You that You will bring that potential out in her this year, Lord. I ask all these things in Your precious Son, Jesus' name.

Love to all,

Holly

Going to get my baby girl :)

I never thought she would make it this long! Olivia has been away for 2 whole weeks and I am flying to Chicago tomorrow morning to get her. I am so excited I can hardly wait. I've never been away from my baby girl this long but this break has been a blessing for our whole family. Olivia got some much needed undivided, one on one attention from Ms. Pam. Cole got some quality time with mommy and daddy. I got some great time alone with the boys. And Paul and I got some grown up time together. But it's definately time for "the Lu" to come home. Her being gone has made me realize just how much life she brings to our family. It will be so nice to have her home where she belongs.

Ms. Pam is our dear friend and neighbor and she is like another grandmother to our kids. She made sure that Olivia's time away from home was filled with fun activities to keep her occupied. They went to see The Beach Boys in concert, the zoo, a real working farm, an amish market and The American Girl Place. Yesterday, Olivia had a princess tea party with her new friends, Savannah, Marybeth and Lilly. Tomorrow when my flight gets in, we will go to The Rainforest Cafe to eat lunch. My sister in law will pick us up and we will spend the night with Ed and Carla and come home on Monday.

Our family will all be back together next week and life will be great!

That's all for tonight!
Love to all,
Holly

He will give you the Nations

My church, White Dove Fellowship, has a heart for the nations. The bible says God will give us the nations as an inheritance. I never really thought too much about it until we made a decision to send our son to The International School of Louisiana. We chose this school because we wanted Cole to learn Spanish and we wanted him to have a really unique shool experience. But what I believe God has placed on my heart is the realization that this could be the beginning of Cole claiming that inheritance.
By the time Cole is in 5th grade he will be completely fluent in Spanish, learing French and Chinese and who knows what other languages he will be introduced by then.
Just a thought I'm having :o).
Love to all,
Holly

My Babies

A very quiet house

It's been almost a week since I've posted and so much has happened this week. For those of you who don't know, my husband, Paul, travels a lot for his job and this month his travel schedule happens to be very hectic. Those of you with kids know what the month of August is like trying to get kids ready for school. Holden started last week, Cole starts tomorrow and Olivia doesn't have her first full day till September 10th.

I was talking to my dear friend and neighbor, Ms. Pam, the other day. I was telling her about my dilemma with no child care for Olivia till school starts. She has a house in Indiana and she asked if she could take Olivia up to Indiana to stay with her till after Labor Day. At first I was like, "No Way!" But then the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a good idea. Reluctantly, Paul and I let her go. I say reluctantly because when is it ever easy to let your baby girl go?

She left on Friday. Today is Monday. The reality of her being gone has definately set it. The house is so quiet. The boys have been getting along so well. I have had so much time to myself. I haven't yelled at all.

On the flip side of that, the house is too quiet. I haven't had any munchkins climb in bed with me in the morning. I miss my baby girl.

I have to say every mom needs a break every once in a while. I needed this break in a bad way. It also has made me realize how much life she brings to this family. And we all miss her so much. She is off having the time of her life right now. She has seen the Beach Boys in concert. She is going to The American Girl Store in Chicago. She is going to see American Idol Top Ten on tour. She went to the zoo. I feel like my little mini-me is going to come back all grown up!

Lord, please watch over my precious Olivia while she is away from me. Keep her safe and comfort her when she gets homesick. Hold her in the palm of Your loving hand and surround her with angels while she sleeps. I ask this in Jesus' name.

Cole starts a new school tomorrow. The International School of Louisiana is a language immersion school and he will be learning Spanish. His teacher does not speak English so this should prove to be a very interesting school year. We are very excited and nervous at the same time. We don't know quite what to expect so I'll keep posting as the year goes by.

Thanks for taking time out to read my thoughts! God Bless You!

Love to all,

Holly

The word REGRET

I once thought there was a stigma attached to the words therapy and counseling. That is until I actually went to counseling and learned that sometimes you just need to talk about things to see it from a whole new perspective. With that being said, I am a believer in christian counseling not worldly therapy. If I'm going to get someone's advice on something, I want to make sure it's biblical advice. I get enough from the world everyday. I need more from the WORD not the world.

Anyway, in a counseling session today, the counselor mentioned the word regret. And within seconds, tears were streaming down my face. Why is it that word haunts me? I try and I try to get past the regret that I have about the day of Meme's funeral and the devil knows that it is a hurdle that I have yet to conquer. I'm glad it happened because I know I need to deal with it so that I can move on.

I still feel a lot of pain when I think of Aaron and how much I miss him but mostly the pain comes from knowing that I could never do that day over again. Wondering if Aaron really knew how I felt, how much I hated the fact that they(aunt, uncle, cousins) didn't live here anymore, that I only got to see them at Christmas. Wishing that I had more moments with him as he got older like I did when he was young. If he really knew that I loved him and Adam more like little brothers than cousins.

All I can hope for is that deep down, he knew. I'll definately ask him those things when I see him again. I have so many things I want to say to him. But first, I'm gonna wrap my arms around my cousin's neck and tell him that I love him.......................When I finally make it home.

Live life to the fullest. Live like there's no tomorrow. Live without regret.

Love to all,

Holly

Mini Me

This is my little Mini Me. We even had the same color tank top that night. These moments are so few and far between that I cherish them dearly.

Lord, I lift up Olivia to you. I ask that you send your Holy Spirit to convict her when she is thinking about disobeying. Remind her of the fruits of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Kindness, Faith and Self Control. Give her a desire to please us and lead her away from temptation. I ask this through Your son, Jesus.

Baby Steps

Love to all,

Holly

Cheeeeeese!

My little Abercrombie lost one of his top teeth! He is still as cute as ever. Hope you get a kick out of these photos!

Love to all,

Holly

Mattie is doing fine!

So it's been a while since I've posted. Mattie lynn is doing fine. You really don't want to know what was wrong with her because it's pretty gross. But the good news is that she is NOT dying. I think she'll be around for a while.
Love to all,
Holly

Mattie Lynn

I think Mattie is starting to go down hill. Mattie Lynn is just a dog..............but she's our dog. We found her on the side of the road in Hammond about 7 years ago. She was hungry, thirsty and hot. It was about 98 degrees outside and a hornet was trying to sting her.

Paul said, "We are taking that dog home with us." So he went to Walmart, got a kennel, picked her up and brought her to get groomed. She was so matted, they had to shave her....hence her name, Mattie.

We brought her home. Her eye was missing and she was riddled with heart worms. But my husband, having the biggest heart in the world, told the vet to do whatever was needed to save her life. She had aggressive treatment for heart worms and after a few weeks a frisky little dog emerged. She's been the best doggie ever since.

We don't know how old she was when we rescued her so we still don't know her true age but I think she's getting up there. Lately, we've noticed that she is really slow to get up and she doesn't always come when we whistle. It rained while I was gone today and she was in the backyard so she got a little wet. I let her in when I got home and let her go into the garage to dry off. Holden was about to bring her back outside when I noticed she wasn't walking right. She kept tripping over her back leg and her tail was all the way to one side. Holden picked up her tail and saw that it was cut. I took a closer look and I saw what was really going on. She chewed her tail raw. It was bloody and I could tell it was hurting her.

I read somewhere that dogs started chewing on ther bodies when their time was coming. I remember Baby, my family dog, did that right before we had to have her put to sleep. I just hope Mattie has a little time left. She is such a good dog.

No More Tubes!

Thank you, Lord, for watching over Cole and Livi this morning while they were in surgery.

Today Cole and Olivia had surgery to remove the tubes from their ears. They have finally outgrown the chronic ear infections and for that, I am so grateful.

My kiddos are growing up right before my very eyes. They were so brave! Olivia even walked back to the operating room with the nurse all by herself! We were home by 9:30 this morning and they are napping now. I guess it will take a while for the anesthesia to be completely out of their bodies.

I am so grateful for our health and I lift up those who need to be healed, in Jesus' name!

Love to all,

Holly

My Big Girl!

Well, my little girl is growing up and it was time for a "big girl" haircut. I was reluctant to do it at first but Paul thought it was a great idea and Olivia said she wanted to look like me. So off went the ponytail. Olivia has decided to donate her hair to Locks of Love so some little girl who has no hair can have hers.

Love to All,

Holly

My trip to Orlando

As many of you know, Aaron worked for Walt Disney World's Watercraft Division. He drove ferry boats agross the lagoon at Disney. I went to Orlando to spend time with my Aunt Gwen, Uncle Ricky and Adam. The day that I got there we were scheduled to go on one of the boats Aaron used to drive. It was raining and we had to wait because there was lightening in the area. As we were waiting to to get on the boat, a huge rainbow stretched across the entire sky.

We wanted a sunset.....We got a rainbow. I'm sure that was Aaron's way of "messing" with us.

The sun was supposed to set at 8:36 so at that time we released yellow and purple flowers into the lagoon as a tribute to Aaron. After a moment of silence, I spoke and sang, just like I did at the funeral. After I sung, Adam hugged me and we just couldn't let go. I will remember that moment forever.

Disney presented the family with a beautiful shadow box frame with a Disney Life Ring signed by his fellow cast members and some pics of Aaron at work. It was very overwhelming. After that we watched the fireworks over Cinderella's Castle.

The next day we spent on the lake riding jetskis all day. I'm still sore! I had an awesome time hanging out with Adam all day. Monday I helped Aunt Gwen in Aaron's room most of the day. If you didn't know Aaron and you stepped into his room, you would know him when you walked out.

Monday night was a very emotional night for me. I had been holding it all in for most of the weekend and it finally came spilling out and there was no stopping it. I didn't realize how overwhelming it would be being in Orlando, sleeping in Aaron's room, meeting his friends and seeing a little piece of Aaron's daily life. I know that crying is a part of healing and I know that I will have times like that and they will eventually become few and far between.

Over all, it was a much needed trip for me and I think it was for my Aunt Gwen too. I'm just sorry I couldn't see Aaron's world while he was still in it. But he will be with us in spirit forever and forever watching over us.

I love ya, lil cuz XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Love To All,

Holly

Our Beach Vacation

What a whirlwind these past 2 weeks! Where do I start? We definately needed a vacation from the stress of everyday life so Paul suggested a beach trip. I thought it was a great idea......short enough so that we weren't missing anything important but long enough for us to feel like we had escaped.

We loaded up the car with all of our beach stuff and headed out to Pensacola. The only thing missing was Holden. He was starting theatre camp and really didn't want to miss the first 3 days. Cole and Olivia did great in the car. They both played their DS the whole time and Paul and I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

I wish we had more sun while we were there but at least it didn't rain the entire time. We were able to hang out on the beach, play in the surf, look for seashells and bury Paul in the sand!

The morning that we left, it was a little sunnier than we expected so our family pictures were a little bright. But at least we got a few! Here are some of my favorites.

Love to All,

Holly

4th of July

Thought I would share a few of the photos I took from the 4th of July down in Myrtle Grove yesterday. We packed up the kids and drove down to my mom and dad's for a day of BBQ, swimming, sunshine and friends. It was a beautiful day and we left around 3:30 so we could come home and pack for our beach vacation. We are leaving today for Pensacola and I am so looking forward to spending 3 days on the beach doing nothing! I'll write again when we get home.

Love to all,

Holly

Relaxing

Tonight is a relaxing evening and I just thought I would write a few lines before I get in bed. Last night Holden performed in Dovetales. All the kids did so well! It was fun to watch them perform after working so hard for two whole weeks. Olivia has been making "happy" choices lately and I can't even tell you what a relief that it. Tonight she fell asleep in Paul's arms in his office and he had to carry her up to her bed. I love watching her sleep.
Cole is swimming like a little fish these days. We are having his tubes and Olivia's tubes taken out of their ears in a few weeks. Thankfully they are both past the chronic ear infection days. I remember those days and don't ever want to relive them again.
Tomorrow we are taking the kids to a Zephyrs game after church. So Night Night everyone!

Love to all,
Holly

I miss you

I am having a hard time getting myself together this morning. I don't know why it hits me harder some days than others and some days I'm perfectly fine. Tomorrow will be two months since Aarons been gone and I thought I wouldn't have these days as often. I guess I don't lose it as much as I did a month ago, but its still so hard. I am drawn to the computer like a magnet everyday to look at Aaron's facebook and myspace, just to see his face.

I've lost loved ones before and know what it feels like to be sad and to miss someone. But never have I felt such profound sadness as I've felt these last two months. I've never felt the urge to talk to the ones I've lost before, yet I find myself talking to Aaron. I sit in front of my computer with a picture of him on my screen and I talk to him.

I think about how every year since they moved away from New Orleans, I couldn't wait for Christmas because we would all be together again, even if it was just for a day. I'd always joke with Aaron and make some comment about his hair or call him Gotti Boy. I loved watching him play with my kids. It didn't matter how old he got, he would always still roll around on the floor with the boys like he was the same age.

That will never be the same. Sure, Christmas will always be a time to celebrate because of Jesus' birth but I will always think about the last Christmas Eve I remember with Aaron. It was 2006 at my mom and dad's. I gave him a Hollister gift card. 2007 was wierd because we went to Meme and Honey's during the day and I can't remember Aaron being there. I have no pictures of him from that year and it makes me mad. Was he there? and if he was, why didn't I take a picture of him? Anyway, 2008 we didn't get to see each other because his other grandmother was sick during the holidays.

If it wasn't for the untimely passing of Meme (I love you, Meme) I wouldn't have seen Aaron at all in the last year. So for that I'm grateful. You may only get one chance to tell people how you feel about them so choose your words wisely. I wish I had done that. Now I say it everyday, but to a picture of him. It's not the same. It's not fair. Life's not fair. I love you, Aaron. I can't type anymore, too many tears.

Love to all,

Holly

Happy Birthday Cole!

Today my sweet Cole is 6! I am so proud of him. He is such a good boy and has so much going for him. As I woke up this morning, I started thinking about how fast time flies. It seems like yesterday I was in the hospital giving birth to him and now he is 6 years old. I never want to forget these days..........evenings at the ballpark, playing basketball with him in the driveway, watching him hop hop dance. I want these images to be burned in my mind forever because I know he'll be a teenager before I know it.

That happened with Holden. He grew up overnight. He's still a young 12 year old but I can tell he is turning into a teenager more and more each day. I remember a time when I thought I would never forget the little things and now I hardly remember any of them. I never did a good job of keeping up with their baby books after the first year and now, I wish I would have. They are all growing up so fast.

Tonight is Cole's first private hip hop dance lesson. He will be so surprised because he thinks it's a class with a lot of kids. Then after that we are going to celebrate his birthday with a family dinner at Applebees......he loves Applebees! These are the things I want to remember so I'm glad that I started this blog because at least I'll have something to go back and read when I can't remember the little things anymore.

This is something I'm adding in here just for myself so I don't forget these things:

1. Can't I jus write wit a marker or sumpin?

2. Cole's waiter arm

3. Lala I love you and Uncle Trey I like you a lot

4. Would you like to go on a date with me? What? You're HOTT!

5. Smells like a regular butt

6. Cole's spanish

7. Mexico

That's all for now.

Love to all,

Holly

UP

Yesterday Paul and I took the kids to see the movie, UP. If you haven't seen it yet, all I can say is GO SEE IT! This movie was so good. Funny, sad, uplifting, hopeful, inspiring and it had the most beautiful love story ever.

I usually enjoy kids movies but rarely does a movie move me like this. After seeing this, I want to be nicer to my husband, my kids and my dog. Life is short and we need to live each day to the fullest. Make every day an adventure. Appreciate the little things in life. And help others.

If I can leave you with one thing.....................Go see UP!

Love to all,
Holly

Days Go By

It's been a while since I've posted. Things are pretty much the same. Olivia continues to challenge me daily. Sometimes I feel like a complete failure when it comes to raising her. She steals things and then hides them and then lies about it. Even though she knows if she gets caught, the consequences are bad. How much stuff can you take away from a 4 yr. old? I've read The Strong-Willed Child many times and it doesn't seem to be giving me any answers.
Spanking doesn't work and neither does Time Out. It seems amazing to me that this little human being who came out of my body and who is so completely dependant on me for everything she needs to live (food, clothing and shelter) can actually be so defiant and so willfully disobedient so much of the time!

I enjoy Cole and Holden so much and I want to be able to enjoy the time I spend with Olivia instead of constantly fussing and disciplining her all the time.

Dear Lord,
Help me to see Olivia the way you see her. Help me to be the kind of mother to her that you want me to be. Give me patience to deal with her and the strength to not give in. Give Olivia the desire to want to please Paul and me. Help us get through this. I know it is only for a season, Lord and that these days will go by quickly. I want to cherish all of my kids as they are growing up and I want to have lasting memories of their childhood. Good memories, that is. I know that if I trust in you completely, you will get me through this. I ask this in your precious son Jesus' name. Amen

Tomorrow is Sunday and I am expecting something from You, God! I can't wait to praise you and worship you!

That's all for now.
Love to all,
Holly

Although I never said the words, I'm sure you knew...........I love you, Aaron. There are a few things that will forever make me think of you. One is the beach another one is sunset. Maybe you were looking down on us yesterday and maybe you read this from heaven. There's a country song by Alan Jackson that makes me think of you and Meme and I heard it on our way to the beach. It goes like this, ".......flew up to heaven on the wings of angels, by the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees and she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting and I know she's smiling saying, Don't worry 'bout me." Could you please give Meme a big hug from me. The lady behind me in church this morning smelled just like Meme and I started to cry. I just sat there with my eyes closed picturing her manicured fingernails and her wedding ring. I miss you both so much. I know heaven is a much better place than earth and that you are having the time of your life. I'm sure you are the life of the party up there. And I know I'll see you again one day.

Until then...............I love you.

Love to all,

Holly